Open Letter to New and Expecting Mothers

Dear New and Expecting Mothers,

Having a child is a reason for joy and celebration. And you probably think so too. But, as a new or expecting mother, you may be quietly feeling something very different.

If you are reading this, it is likely that you have found what is supposed to be a time of great excitement and happiness filled instead with frustration, anxiety, fear, sadness, confusion or outright depression.

BUT THAT CAN BE NORMAL, RIGHT?

Sort of.

Childbirth challenges women’s emotions—both psychologically and biochemically—and causes a low-grade to moderate short-term emotional distress in a majority of women (up to 80%) which can last up to six weeks. This is referred to as the “Baby Blues.”

Because so many women experience this psychological discomfort, it is considered a “normal” part of childbearing; something to bond over—and probably ignore—rather than something from which to seek relief. “Welcome to the club,” you may hear people say.

But what if it feels like the doors to that club are locked and you can’t get out?

IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT. AND BELIEVE IT OR NOT, YOU AREN’T ALONE.

While all women can benefit from (and truly deserve) care and attention for even the most common of perinatal emotional disturbances, at least 1 in 7 women experience more serious issues needing professional intervention. This can range from Depression to Anxiety to Obsessive Thinking and even actual Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (yes, the same thing experienced by combat veterans).

JUST BECAUSE THEY NEVER TOLD YOU ABOUT IT DOESN’T MEAN YOU AREN’T FEELING IT.

You may not know that Perinatal emotional distress is often overlooked by health care providers as one of the leading complications of childbirth today. And you’re not alone. It is not commonly inquired about in standard post-childbirth health visits, and even more rarely so during pregnancy.

This is unfortunate, as studies have shown that the effects of Postpartum Depression (PPD), for example, are actually much more severe than standard clinical depression. Yet, with proper treatment, many women can start feeling better quickly and eventually make a full recovery.

And women frequently do not seek the critically important help they need to begin the healing process. In fact, not only do they not get treated, but reports from the National Institutes of Health show that women with (these issues) would rather “separate themselves from friends and loved ones than reveal what they are experiencing, especially when it goes against social and cultural standards and expectations.”

Ask yourself:

Are you putting off seeking help because you have been taught that these feelings are “normal” and you will eventually “just get over it?”
Have you remained silent about your feelings because you are afraid of what might happen - or what people will think of them if you DO express your concerns or self-doubts?
Do you feel constantly judged by others with regard to the care of your child?
Did you ever try to convince yourself that you are just blowing things out of proportion and they really aren’t all that bad?
Do you keep telling yourself that there are too many things to worry about other than yourself?
Does motherhood feel isolated, no matter how many people want to help?

IT DOESN’T NEED TO BE THAT WAY.

If the answer to any of the above questions is yes, then it’s time to talk.

Call (973) 370-5686 or click here to schedule a free phone consultation and we can determine together what next steps might be right for you.